I am progressing on well with my pregnancy

Today  i am sixteen weeks pregnant. The journey seems slower than i expected. I am still having a few pregnancy side effects which are of course expected. What i cant wait are the baby kicks that i anticipate to start soon. Guess what i already bought a pretty 5 piece diaper bag and in there, there is a baby shawl, a warmer and some baby suits. Don't ask me why i am doing baby shopping so early its just that am excited to have this baby. I feel the baby needs so much and little by little i will have filled her room with all that she needs.

I already attended my first antenatal appointment at thirteen weeks. A series of tests were taken whose results i will be going to collect this Friday. What was surprising during that appointment is how inquisitive the doctor was about the baby daddy a subject that i did not like. You may be wondering how i am coping with no word from baby daddy. I had anticipated this to happen and so i braved myself for such a time like this; Though there have been countless times that i wished that he was around. 

The first week of February i attended a job interview. I really need this job and i hope i will get it. I had to find a way of concealing my pregnancy lest it denies me the opportunity. But luckily enough some of my skirt suits can still fit me despite my bigger tummy. I managed and i can assure you no one noticed i could be pregnant. In the next two weeks, i will know whether i got the job or not and i need prayers from you my readers. Its a job that i deserve to get. If i get it, it will enhance my career progress and i will be able to settle my dreams.My two very strong vulnerabilities never featured anywhere during the interview, my pregnancy and my HIV status, and they are the more reason i need this job. My family is now bigger, i got five mouths to feed.

I just love the feeling of being pregnant. Its a choice that not many will take but i am determined to go through it no matter what. I am also experiencing very bad mood swings; and the worst is withdrawal symptoms like those of someone with depression. I am not sure if its stress but i think am trying to cope. I just thank God that i am able to go through this. Its his favor that has made me come this far. 

Ask me how valentines was and i assure you i pulled through. Guess what i did, i read a composition written by my son while in class four about his mother. That was the best valentine gift i had. The words made me cry so much. I could not believe that's how Kev thought about his mother. The sweet words were so strong. I could not help imagine of this other bundle of joy's word's when she is told to write about her mother. I hope she remembers to write the songs i sing to her now. The love day passed and life moves on. The most important thing is that i love myself and nothing, no matter what will bring me down.

I did not buy mum a Christmas dress as i always do because that was when i was going through the worst form of morning sickness. But as i shopped for baby clothes. I bought her a dress too. How i wish that its a girl so that any time she celebrates her birthday, i fix my mum's birthday too since my mum doesn't know the date she was born apart from the year. And as my mum blows sixty plus candles baby girl starts to count one.

First Trimester

Happy New Year to all of you my readers.
Today i am eleven weeks pregnant. The journey in the last close to three months has not been easy with morning sickness being the most bothersome side effect of this pregnancy. Waking up with nausea every morning i have had to devise ways of dealing with it. First i have to take clean water before i take anything so that in case of vomiting i will vomit the water.

 Pregnancy with HIV is a tricky affair. I was already on ARVs and septrin while i conceived. I had to stop septrin as it can be harmful to my baby. Being on ARVs is better while making a decision to conceive or even breastfeed as it reduces in a great deal the likelihood of infecting the unborn. So far i have been adherent and morning sickness has not affected my adherence in any way. 

The worst nightmare i have had to bear is being alone in the most crucial moments in the development of my baby. This has  affected my concentration as more often i find myself carried away in baby daddy's thoughts. I don't blame myself for thinking about him. It was bound to happen anyway as long as i am carrying his baby. I however have to remind myself always that it was my decision to have and to keep this baby. When i informed him, he demanded i abort but i couldn't. I am having this baby God willing for i know He has wonderful plans for him/her.

I wasn't alone throughout as i got an opportunity to spend the festive season with my mother who treated me like a small baby. She would hold a cup of milk for me to take as soon as i vomited everything i had had for breakfast in the mornings. The most exciting were stories of her own experience of her pregnancy with me. While there i suffered itchy eyes and she was so glad to share her own experience and remedy. She made some concoction and advised me to wash my eyes with it and the itchiness was no more. It was the best moment that i will always cherish. 

Cravings and dislike of certain foods have been another issue. These days i only eat if i like something. If i force it just will come out. I crave for things that i have liked even before currently pork on my number one on crave list. 

My greatest disappointment has been not joining the job i expected to join this month. Its heart rending. I have cried cannot cry anymore. As the only breadwinner of my family, this is my worst moment. I am just hoping that the strength that i have always had will sustain me so that i don't affect my baby in my womb with my stress. Right now i can only pray. Pray for a job to enable me cater for my family's needs. My own mother depends sorely on me and i must say that the only consolation now is spending a day on my bed and crying and doing all i can to find a job. 

I enjoy counseling, but right now i got no patience to listen to anybody. Am so occupied with my own problems. But i am not giving up. That's not anything i will ever do. I will keep hope alive and baby Wambui will be born healthy and will get all her needs met in Jesus name.