First Trimester

Happy New Year to all of you my readers.
Today i am eleven weeks pregnant. The journey in the last close to three months has not been easy with morning sickness being the most bothersome side effect of this pregnancy. Waking up with nausea every morning i have had to devise ways of dealing with it. First i have to take clean water before i take anything so that in case of vomiting i will vomit the water.

 Pregnancy with HIV is a tricky affair. I was already on ARVs and septrin while i conceived. I had to stop septrin as it can be harmful to my baby. Being on ARVs is better while making a decision to conceive or even breastfeed as it reduces in a great deal the likelihood of infecting the unborn. So far i have been adherent and morning sickness has not affected my adherence in any way. 

The worst nightmare i have had to bear is being alone in the most crucial moments in the development of my baby. This has  affected my concentration as more often i find myself carried away in baby daddy's thoughts. I don't blame myself for thinking about him. It was bound to happen anyway as long as i am carrying his baby. I however have to remind myself always that it was my decision to have and to keep this baby. When i informed him, he demanded i abort but i couldn't. I am having this baby God willing for i know He has wonderful plans for him/her.

I wasn't alone throughout as i got an opportunity to spend the festive season with my mother who treated me like a small baby. She would hold a cup of milk for me to take as soon as i vomited everything i had had for breakfast in the mornings. The most exciting were stories of her own experience of her pregnancy with me. While there i suffered itchy eyes and she was so glad to share her own experience and remedy. She made some concoction and advised me to wash my eyes with it and the itchiness was no more. It was the best moment that i will always cherish. 

Cravings and dislike of certain foods have been another issue. These days i only eat if i like something. If i force it just will come out. I crave for things that i have liked even before currently pork on my number one on crave list. 

My greatest disappointment has been not joining the job i expected to join this month. Its heart rending. I have cried cannot cry anymore. As the only breadwinner of my family, this is my worst moment. I am just hoping that the strength that i have always had will sustain me so that i don't affect my baby in my womb with my stress. Right now i can only pray. Pray for a job to enable me cater for my family's needs. My own mother depends sorely on me and i must say that the only consolation now is spending a day on my bed and crying and doing all i can to find a job. 

I enjoy counseling, but right now i got no patience to listen to anybody. Am so occupied with my own problems. But i am not giving up. That's not anything i will ever do. I will keep hope alive and baby Wambui will be born healthy and will get all her needs met in Jesus name.